Perception

Have you ever got a question wrong in class or you made a mistake in a football
match, and right away your inner thoughts are negative and you find yourself
blaming yourself? For just a minute, I want you to think about after you made a
simple mistake, how does the negative self-talk affect you and how does it make
your feel?
At the start it might make you feel like your second guessing things, such as “I got
this question wrong in class, what if I get the next question wrong, what will people
think of me? Or in terms of football, I missed this scoring opportunity, what if I miss it
again, will I get given out to? All these people watching, am I good enough?
Sometimes this might spiral from negative self-thought to self-doubt, which may
make you feel like you’re not good enough, it may make your stop answering
questions in school because of the worry of getting it wrong, which may cause
anxiety and overthinking or in terms of football it might cause you to shy away from
calling for the ball and lowering your confidences.

Remember: This is your first time living, be kind to yourself

Growing up through your adolescence years, it is normal to try do the best you can,
in all situations of life, it is okay that you made a mistake and you want to do better, it
is okay that you want to show people your ability and knowledge. This is all just
human nature of wanting to be the best version of yourself.

You’ve got to remember, this is your first time living, it is okay to make mistakes and
it is okay not to know everything straight away. All you can do is learn from your
mistake and just try your best with everything, that’s all you can do.

A simple way to look at it

This is why positive self-talk is so important, especially through your adolescent
years as it shapes your thought process for your future self. Instead of saying
“everything I do is wrong, things are bad”, keep it positive by saying “okay, I got that
wrong, but I’m going to try do better next time, this is not going to hold me back,
everything is okay.”

If you think about it, think about being in a room full of people, if everybody in the
room is being negative, talking about negative topics, being mean to eachother, how
would that make you feel? There is a good chance it will create that anxious feeling
in your belly and make you feel like there isn’t much hope.

Now, think about being in a room full of positive people where you are having
positive conversations, everybody is chilled out, comfortable and nice to each other,
how would like make you feel? I bet you would feel at ease, you wouldn’t feel as
scared to speak your mind and you wouldn’t have that anxious feeling in your belly.

This reflects the same as having positive self-talk. I know at times it can be really
difficult but just like most things, it is all about practice, be kind to yourself.
Remember, everybody can make mistakes, it is human nature, the difference Is the
manner in which you speak to yourself in. Be kind to yourself.

Jamie works with adolescents and young adults in The Natural Clinic, Cork city.

Learn more, contact Jamie or book an appointment here.